If you thought E3 being dead meant gaming announcements would chill out—ha, that’s adorable. Summer Game Fest 2025 just brought the heat, and Sony’s State of Play casually body-slammed the internet two days earlier. Let’s break it down, sarcasm and hype fully loaded.

🧟‍♂️ Resident Evil: Requiem – The Series Refuses to Die (Ironically)

Capcom said “hold my green herb” and dropped Resident Evil: Requiem, set for Feb 27, 2026. From the trailer, we’ve got a post-apocalyptic Italy vibe, lots of torchlit corridors, and a protagonist who looks like Leon if he gave up hair gel and found trauma instead. Day one buy? Obviously.

⚔️ Onimusha: Way of the Sword – Welcome Back, King

Capcom again, because they’re clearly on their villain arc. Onimusha is back after two decades, looking like Sekiro had a kid with Devil May Cry. No official date, but it’s dropping on PS5, Xbox Series X/S, and PC. Nostalgia is weaponized, and we’re defenseless.

🐚 Mortal Shell 2 – Pain, But Prettier

 Announced for 2026, Mortal Shell 2 is doubling down on brutal combat, twisted lore, and armor that looks allergic to joy. If you love dying repeatedly while feeling like a goth philosopher, this one’s for you.

🚗 Sonic Racing: CrossWorlds – Chaos Emerald Drift Edition

Sega’s new kart racer launches Sept 25, 2025, and it looks… shockingly good? Open-world tracks, multiverse madness, and a Chao pit crew. Cross-platform chaos incoming.

🕊️ Death Stranding 2: On the Beach – Hideo Kojima, You Mad Genius

Kojima’s sequel to “UPS but existential” finally got a proper showcase. June 26 is the date. New characters, Neil and Lucy, a creepy beach fetus again (of course), and oh—a custom DualSense controller. Kojima’s still weird. We still love him.

👊 Splitgate 2 – Halo Meets Portal… Now With Battle Royale

Didn’t see this one coming. Splitgate 2 brings a full-on free-to-play battle royale mode with portals, and it actually looks SICK. Strategic chaos is the theme. And yes, it’s live now.

Bonus Level: Wildcards

• Scott Pilgrim EX – because we clearly haven’t suffered enough nostalgia punches.

• LEGO Party! – Mario Party energy with plastic bricks.

• 007: First Light – a spy thriller prequel that nobody asked for but we’ll still play.

• Lies of P: Overture – surprise DLC drop, now available for those who like their fairy tales dark and depressing.

Final Thought:
Gamers, we are no longer in a content drought. We’re drowning—and smiling while we sink. These showcases proved one thing: 2025–2026 is stacked. So go ahead and start making that Gaming Backlog Excuse List™, Vol. 74. You’re gonna need it.

🕹️ Stay sarcastic. Stay sweaty. Stay tuned.